A spiteful note from beyond the grave. A ridiculous quest that can only be completed using specific instructions. An utterly bizarre final statement. Lawyers and family members have heard all of these things and more when reading someone's will. So take note, because next time it could be you who's faced with a request from Granny to reveal a certain risqué body part at her open-casket funeral. Yep, that really happened...
Please note, answers have been lightly edited for length and clarity.
Fancy fish supper
"A lady wanted to create a trust fund of £100,000 for her pet fish. When I asked if it was a special kind of fish, she confirmed it was just a normal goldfish...
... but she wanted it to be fed fresh avocado every day and be looked after by a local dog walker after she died. She was absolutely serious." — scarlett_pimpernel on Reddit
Read the fine print
"My great-grandad had a clause in his will that stated something along the lines of, 'if any of the beneficiaries decide to dispute the contents of the decedent’s estate, their share becomes $1 and nothing else...'
"Seemed like a pretty good way to maintain harmony among his survivors." — nelson227 on Reddit
Here kitty kitty
"Just last week I handled a matter where the parents left millions in artwork to various people, wads of cash to various charities, and only left their kids the family cats...
"Turns out they did it because the kids got them the cats to comfort the parents in their old age and the parents hated the cats but the kids wouldn’t let them get rid of the cats." — Dr_BrOneil on Reddit
Invincible cats
"An aging woman my family knew left her house (large, and in a very affluent neighborhood) and estate to family friends for so long as her cats were alive and taken care of in said house...
After they died, the house was to be sold and the remaining estate donated.The weird thing is, it's been like 20 years and the cats are still alive.Also, they've changed color." — from Reddit
Burn after reading
"Here’s one from one of my dad’s law partners. He had a lady come in with an itemized list of books and wanted her will to contain all of the books and who will get what based on her choosing. So basically she decides who gets what specific book instead of letting her beneficiaries decide. The truly astonishing thing is how many books and how specific they get...
According to dad’s law partner, her list is at about 2,000 books to be divided among about 30 people. She is apparently very specific and comes back at least once a year to add all the new books she’s gotten." — littleredbird1991 on Reddit
And the winner is...
"Pet trusts are a fun one: leaving a whole whack of money in a trust to be used for the care of the pet during their life...
However, my favorite ever (that I obviously didn’t draft) was a lawyer who left the bulk of his estate (millions in today’s dollars) to whatever Toronto-area woman had the most children at a specific date some years in the future. I recall the winner had 10." — PirateRobotNinjaofDe on Reddit
Sweet revenge
"My grandfather left my uncle three things from his rather valuable estate:- One dollar in unrolled pennies- A framed copy of the contract my uncle signed saying he owed my grandfather >$100k (never repaid)- A framed copy of the letter my uncle sent my grandfather saying he was disowning my grandfather for 'being cheap'...
I was only a kid, but I understood and laughed at it when I heard my uncle cursing my grandfather to the attorney. Still laugh today." — VoxNemo on Reddit
What's in a name?
"When I used to work as a paralegal in college, I was digitizing paper records for this new estate lawyer who'd joined our firm in a merger. One will was from 1986, and it included a provision that stipulated which of her three sons would be allowed to name one of their children after her...
Apparently, her name had been 'in the family for time eternal' and she wanted to make sure the best son was the one who carried it on. It also included a summary of why only one of them (the youngest son) was worthy of the right. It was so specific and honestly pretty cruel to the other two." — waaaaaaaaaaaat_ on Reddit
Tribe 'til I die
"Guy on the reservation had no family, was big into his Harley. Wanted everything to go to the tribe. However, he said he wanted to be buried with the bike, in riding position, upside down, under his favorite stretch of road. We spent some time explaining why this was not likely to happen. He was insistent that his buddies already knew the deal and agreed. He just wanted it in writing for the rest of his assets. With a few different clauses, we put it in with some contingencies...
It was interesting but honestly more of a headache than anything else. I don't expect this to be enforced, but if his riding buddies just do it anyways, at least in spirit, I would not be surprised." — motherinlawstongue on Reddit
A penny for your thoughts
Here's a prime example of why it's important to respect your elders, especially if they're likely to include you in their will!
"My grandma left a penny and a nasty comment to almost every person in the will, all of her sons and daughters, even a few grandchildren, except for me. I got 1,000 dollars. Thanks, grandma." — thecatdaddysupreme on Reddit
Quit horsing around
"I work in probate. The oddest thing I’ve seen in a will is to euthanize their beloved horse, have it cremated and its ashes scattered with the decedent...
Lucky for her horse, she named a horse that was already dead so the one she got afterward lived to see another farm." – gabberrella24 on Reddit
Archeologists, beware!
"[In my early 20s,] I was forced to write a will due to the health insurance I get at work, and, amongst sensible stuff, the in-house lawyer said it was totally okay for this clause to be added:'My funeral wishes are that I be buried in a coffin which has been spring-loaded, such that opening the coffin would cause alarm to future archaeologists...'
Then a bunch of stuff about if this is too costly I'd be cremated and have my ashes scattered in a specific place." — WanderCold on Reddit
Really, Nanna?
"My grandmother had her breasts done when she was in her 60s, nothing really wrong with that, but when she died, she wanted an open casket with her boobs on display. Really, Nanna? She passed away at 80 and got exactly what she asked for...
Grandad had ended up sticking two strategically placed daisies on her breasts. So she got what she wanted and so did Grandad. RIP Granny, you silly [lady], love you." — FairyFlossFairy on Reddit
Who threw that?
"I, a 17-year-old last year, was the recipient of a rock thrown at my head. I owed it to my dad's quirky sense of humor, and he probably thought it would be the funniest [thing] to ever happen. The note under my name was, 'throw this rock at ____ and hit him in the head with it, but make it surprising.' And I was thinking, what kind of a will is this? Then I read a little further on, and he had left a note saying this was the rock that I'd hit him in the head with when he was teaching me how to skip rocks when I was younger. I'd hit him so hard it dented his skull above his ear, and it never really healed...
It was the most meaningful thing he’d ever done. After all the years me and my dad had messed around with each other, it was his way of winning and taking the final crack at me. It was so heartfelt it moved me to tears. He got the last laugh, and I was completely okay with it." — ClubTuna15 on Reddit
No backsies
"There was one older woman, about 84 years old, who was, in simplest terms, quite insane. She would call every single month to change her will. It would always be small details such as removing her daughters because they haven’t called her in a while, or increasing one child’s percentage and lowering another’s based on whether she was mad at them or not...
But one part she would never change was what she would leave for her dog. She wanted to leave her dog $25,000, plus more money for the care of her dog and to make sure she lived comfortably." — annabear12 on Reddit
Flaming arrows at the ready
"Wrote in my own will that I wish to be cremated and my funeral shall take place three miles offshore. My ashes are to be placed in a small wooden boat...
Members of my funeral party will then compete for a $10,000 prize from my estate by shooting flaming arrows at my remains. Crossbows are prohibited." — dawglaw09 on Reddit
Weight watchers from beyond the grave
This premise is simple in its cruelty, but we have so many questions. What was the weight? How did he intend to monitor her weight? The mind boggles...
"When a dad died, he set up financial installments so long as his daughter remains under a certain weight. Dude was controlling her diet from the grave." — Anonymous on Reddit
See you in hell
"Had a friend who had a toxic relationship with his uncle. When his uncle passed, he was surprised to find he was in the will...
Turns out there was a handwritten IOU that read, 'I’m leaving you 15k BUT you have to come get it from me. I’ll see you in hell!' My friend laughed." — ThisSideOfVanishing on Reddit
A Toblerone for your troubles
"My grandpa put in his will a chocolate bar for every one of his grandkids. Well, I have like 12 cousins and so it was very difficult to track down where a couple of them went. His estates and money were at a standstill for months because they couldn’t find a couple of my cousins. I had to show the court we'd put in the effort to hire someone to track them down, etc...
The lawyer that was helping execute the will was blown away that his lawyer had allowed this. But I’m not complaining 'cause I got a Toblerone out of the deal!" — rv14guy on Reddit
Taxider-ME
"Had a very attractive woman with terminal cancer try to get herself stuffed by a taxidermist and given to some rich guy that had been basically a sugar daddy to her for a few months...
She said, 'He would give me a million dollars a week as long as it was in an official will that he could see.' I sent her to a lawyer who I knew would do just about anything for a buck because I didn't want to end up in the news when she died." — WillLie4karma on Reddit
The joke's on you
"My grandfather has in his will to say 'hi so-n-so.' Just so he can say that he mentioned that person in his will...
He tells lots of people in the family that they are ‘in his will.’ It’s a joke that only he thinks is funny and he won’t be around for the punch line. I think it’s brilliant. He has about ten people mentioned." — rcooplaw on Reddit
Bad neighbors
"My grandfather hated his neighbor. They lived next to each other for 20+ years. I remember well my grandfather raging at every opportunity about this guy. We never saw them speak to each other. In Grandpa's will, he left the guy $10K, a car, and golf clubs. We were dumbstruck. Turns out, they were good buddies from the army...
When they coincidentally bought homes next to each other, they decided to play a long scam with both their families. They actually played golf together two to three times per week and had a monthly poker game for years." — kooknboo on Reddit
Sock it to 'em
"My great-grandfather had a pair of socks that he only wore on Christmas Day with the family. They were hideous...
After he passed, we found out he left those socks to my uncle in his will and told him to carry on the tradition, which my uncle has done. I've already been told I'm getting them next." — angelusmortis94 on Reddit
Elvis fan
We get it — Elvis is cool. But Elvis impersonators aren't quite so easy to justify. Thank you, thank you very much! "A rich uncle of mine, real crazy, and not in a good way...
When he died he had no friends... He left his entire estate to an Elvis impersonator. Everything." — Whatshisfaceboy on Reddit
Odds or evens
"The father had a valuable antique grandfather clock. He also had 2 daughters. His solution: if [he] dies on an even day, daughter A gets the clock, an odd day and daughter B gets it...
The daughter who did not get the clock got an equivalent cash award based on the value of the clock. I know of the event because I had to service the clock several times over the years." — chronos56 on Reddit
'Til death doesn't do us part
"In my trusts & estates class in law school, we read a case about a man who left everything to his wife, but only if she got his body stuffed and left it on the living room couch forever. Luckily for her, the court invalidated that part of the husband's will...
Part of the reasoning was that it would make it impossible for her to date/remarry if she had her husband's creepy dead body glaring at anyone who came to see her." — Luna_Lovelace on Reddit
You've got to be kidney-in' me!
It's not every day that people ask to keep hold of things that are removed from their body during an operation, but this man had big plans involving his kidney stone...
"My grandfather saved his kidney stone so that he could leave it to my cousin. They never really got along." — from Reddit
Too much true crime
We've all seen Dexter. A level-headed serial killer who meticulously hangs plastic sheeting before each of his kills. And what have we learned from that show? That nobody can be trusted! And this mother took her learning to the next level!
"My mom put in her will that if she dies under suspicious circumstances, my sister and I won’t be left anything. She watches a lot of true crime." — staying_incognito87 on Reddit
I mustache you to refrain
When your father is a millionaire, there's a small silver lining to their passing. But when it came to this heir's facial hair, there was a little more to it...
“In case my son Edward shall wear mustaches, then the devise herein before contained in favor of him, his appointees, heirs, and assigns, of my said estate called ‘Pepper Park,’ shall be void.” — Henry Budd
To be, or not to be
“My head to be separated from my body immediately after my death; the latter to be buried in a grave; the former, duly macerated and prepared, to be brought to the theatre, where I have served all my life...
... and to be employed to represent the skull of Yorick — and to this end, I bequeath my head to the properties.” – John Reed